"Why do you have to walk so loud?"

At 18, I lived in Jennings Hall at the University of Florida.

Conveniently, it was the same dorm my boyfriend, Bob, lived in.

Jennings had a strict visitation policy back then. All outside doors locked by 9 pm.

God help you if you got caught sneaking in after curfew. (Ask me how I know. 😁)

Being a wild child, I thought 24-hour visitation would be a lot more fun.

I asked my RA about it, and she told me the whole dorm would have to vote on it.

So, doing my civic duty, I volunteered to spearhead it.

I made my pitch for what was called "C Visitation" to a lobby full of dorm kids piled onto couches and chairs.

I explained how we all left home so we could begin making decisions for ourselves.

And how more freedom would even let us come and go to the library to study whenever we wanted.

Of course, we were kids. And we all understood that this was mainly about fun.

So they cheered me on. And everyone got ready to vote the next day.

I felt so proud of myself because I’d stood up and made my voice heard. I was walking on air.

Then I turned to Bob, who’d just seen me in action.

And he looked at me with a grim expression and said, "Why do you have to walk so loud?"

That was it. One little comment. And it sucked the air out of me.

We still managed to change the dorm rules. But I took something else home that night …

A belief that I was too much. And that I should tone myself down to be liked.

Mortified, I got lighter. And smaller.

And that belief followed me for years, long after Bob and I split up.

Eventually I used hypnosis to clear the mental loop that had been keeping me stuck.

Now when I walk to the front of the room to speak, I walk as loud as I want.

But isn't it shocking the way one offhand remark can rule your life for years?

Maybe it was a teacher who sighed every time you raised your hand.

Or a dad who warned you not to get a big head when you brought home a good report card.

For some women, it comes later. Like the boss who writes "can be a bit much" in a performance review.

Or the friend who laughs and says, "Well, aren't you something."

Who told you that you were too much? Or not enough?

And can you imagine how freeing it would feel if you couldn't even think that thought?

You owe it to yourself to be heard. Heavy footsteps and all.

So when you're ready to cast your vote for you, let's chat.

I'm with you!